Today

Today - I woke up to the warm kiss of the morning sun

Today - A long forgotten smell was revisited

That day - the sun was out and the warm glow covered the land

That day - the air was filled with the smell of the freshly washed trees

That day - the world was beautiful, I felt blessed

Yesterday - It rained

Yesterday - I missed the sun

Yesterday - I watched the day as it slowly passed me by

Today - that long forgotten smell was revisited

Today - that often repeated joke was remembered

Today - I smile, that absent minded smile,

one which has no reason;

Yet, so many.

Sleepless..

Can a mistake make you smile?

If it makes you smile, is it a mistake?

Now this is just a random thought that crossed my mind a few nights ago and suddenly with time at my hands I decided to write it here.

The thing is that a few weeks ago I went through this phase where I just couldn’t sleep. My body was tired and lazy but my mind kept racing ahead. Thinking about everything under the sun, from the Jan Lokpal Bill to the trouble in Libya... From what all I knew and all that I didn’t. All that I wanted to know and all that I cared nothing about. I thought about this world and my contribution to it.

The world wasn’t the only thing keeping me awake late into the night; I kept myself awake. I spent hours thinking about what all I have done in life, what I haven’t. I thought about all that I have gained and who I lost.

I thought about the regrets that I never knew I had and the forgiveness I believed I was incapable of showing.

I thought and I learnt.

I thought about the friends, the lovers and the heartbreaks. I thought about the achievements and the failures. I thought of everything that made me proud and things that ashamed me.

I thought about my father and all that I wouldn’t be able to share with him and I thought about how maybe somehow I am sharing it all because somehow he knows, he is still listening.

I thought and I realized.

I thought about what I was running away from and why. I thought about what I want to do and what I want to give. I thought about family and I thought about love. I thought about me, ten years from now.

Sleepless night after sleepless nights, I thought and awoke with a new discovery.

It’s been a while since the phase and I sleep well, but on some days in the silent darkness of the night I am still thinking what makes my world mine.

I am everything you thought of but know nothing about. And now it’s too late.

You can hear me in your head and everyday you drown my words.

You had everything to lose, and you did.

In your own way you created me and it is only by your hands that I will be vanquished.

I am your hope and your nemesis.

I am your dream and your nightmare.

Love

The breeze is strong.

The smell of the ocean is overpowering but delicious.

As she walks she feels the wet sand beneath her feet.

Something makes her stop and she looks over her shoulder and watches as the tide washes away her footprints.

Alone in that moment she realises, the past is but the past, erased by the tide and the path ahead is still to be walked...

In the ocean breeze she can hear his voice. He is telling her to be careful, be safe. She looks around.

A smile. And a shake of the head, she walks ahead.

Ahead in the cottage the lights are on and she can hear her favourite song. Her feet begin to tap.

An achievement and a celebration.

He really does know it all :)

SMILEEE

There is nothing as simple and honest as the smile of a child.

Photo Courtesy: Ken Carl

I have always loved being with children for a whole lot of selfish reasons. They make me happy with their uncomplicated chatter, they hold no malice, they love chocolates and sweets, cartoons still fascinate them, they help you find joy in simple things and they allow me to never grow up :)

If I ever get stressed at work or saddened by events in my personal life I run to Latika Vihar. Its one place where you can drown everything out and just have fun! I paint, I dance, I run around or I can just sit and read out stories to anyone who cares to listen. I can remain quiet and let the children tell me their stories.

They know no fear, their imagination has no boundaries and their love is without limits. I love children because with them I can believe in pixies and fairies again. I love them because without knowing they make the real world better.

I wish and pray that one day every state, every city and every country will have a Latika Vihar. Because sometime just the thought that a place like this exists is enough. I hope for this not just for the creative development of the child, but I hope for it for us, the adults who have forgotten what life truly is about and how simple it really is to smile.

Unexpected.

Unexpected, out of the blue.

Silent prayers were washed away by spoken words.

From the sidelines an onlooker in my own life

I am angry.

I understand.

Sometimes that which makes no sense, is truly the only path to take.

I wish I had said the unreasonable

I wish I had pushed the door instead of waiting for the window to open

If you had more faith

or we more strength

I am angry.

I understand.

I wish I didn't.

Friend's Speak: Invictus

The poem below was shared (read out) from 'saat samundar paar' by my friend as he felt I needed a little inspiration. As soon as I heard this poem I absolutely loved it. It ‘re’-reminds me of the undying human spirit and in our capability to endure, fight and survive. It reminds me that at the end of it all how my life turns out and what becomes of me, is up to ME

Thanks Sood, you are the best 'annual' buddy one can ask for :)

INVICTUS by William Earnest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.