Can a mistake make you smile?
If it makes you smile, is it a mistake?
Now this is just a random thought that crossed my mind a few nights ago and suddenly with time at my hands I decided to write it here.
The thing is that a few weeks ago I went through this phase where I just couldn’t sleep. My body was tired and lazy but my mind kept racing ahead. Thinking about everything under the sun, from the Jan Lokpal Bill to the trouble in Libya... From what all I knew and all that I didn’t. All that I wanted to know and all that I cared nothing about. I thought about this world and my contribution to it.
The world wasn’t the only thing keeping me awake late into the night; I kept myself awake. I spent hours thinking about what all I have done in life, what I haven’t. I thought about all that I have gained and who I lost.
I thought about the regrets that I never knew I had and the forgiveness I believed I was incapable of showing.
I thought and I learnt.
I thought about the friends, the lovers and the heartbreaks. I thought about the achievements and the failures. I thought of everything that made me proud and things that ashamed me.
I thought about my father and all that I wouldn’t be able to share with him and I thought about how maybe somehow I am sharing it all because somehow he knows, he is still listening.
I thought and I realized.
I thought about what I was running away from and why. I thought about what I want to do and what I want to give. I thought about family and I thought about love. I thought about me, ten years from now.
Sleepless night after sleepless nights, I thought and awoke with a new discovery.
It’s been a while since the phase and I sleep well, but on some days in the silent darkness of the night I am still thinking what makes my world mine.
