All the crazy shit I did tonight

Those would be the best memories

I just wanna let it go for the night

that would be the best therapy for me....

And then...

The goalpost

The striker

The keeper....

He looks at the man ahead and breaks into a sweat

He has no fear.

He is prepared.

But then, so is he, probably even more than him

The clock ticks and defenses are drawn

Two people up in arms,

Two looks of grim determination

Muscles are tense

Throats are parched

A deep breath

And the calculated strike...

As one relaxes

The other tenses

Eyes follow the strike,

The brain works strategies to save

Breaths are deeper, shorter

The possibilities are endless,

The fear of loss gripping,

The hope of victory ever prevalent

Flying in the air IT carries the burden of immense joy & pain

With no agenda of its own and no dream to follow IT will break many

With no control on the outcome IT will decide for many...

IT is neither here nor there.

IT IS.

There is no justice

There is no victory

There is no hope

There is hope

There is victory

There is justice

***************************************************

Talking Aloud...

It's the thought that counts... but does it really?? What use is a thought if not followed by an action that makes the thought more than what it is... merely a thought...

To think and then to act...

To dream and then to realise it...

There is so much going on in this head of mine. Thoughts, actions, dreams, aspirations, reality... And yet it feels light, like its floating somewhere where no such words exist...

Confusion has always been my middle name but now even more so... why???

I wish I had answers to all that I need to know... I wish someone would tell me what to do… I wish I would listen to that someone...

Oh! I wish...

From the zest to fight and do something why has life become about living and accepting what's on the plate...

Where is the revolution? Where is the courage to change? Where is the fight to not accept lies and injustice?

Not saying what’s truly in your mind to the one who ought to know is dishonesty.

To say yes when you mean no is being submissive.

When and how did I become dishonest & submissive?

Where and when did this complacency seep into my life???

The need for a warm blanket to keep the cold out has been met but was that all I seek? Is there more?

Am I so weak that the world around can change who I am and what I want?

What happened to the one who fought against it all?

I have changed. Something changed me.

I don't like the change.

I don't want to accept what I have, I want more.

A lot more

The fire is still there, it’s still simmering and I will not let it die...

I can’t.

Mean, heartless, uncaring and selfish, a few words once used to describe me…

In a desperate moment to be accepted I changed to make them happy but does it mean that I become someone who knows what has to be done, but doesn't do so?

Can an unhappy me keep them happy? If yes, then are they worth it?

If growing up means turning your face away from the truth then I don't want to grow up.

If maturity means giving up dreams I don't want to be mature.

If realistic means giving up on perfection I don't want to be realistic.

True happiness lies in knowing this is not the end but just the beginning of a new chapter.