People change. That is the accepted truth of life.
When I was a little girl in school my teachers told me that change is the only constant in our life. We had great discussions in class on how we would never change, we will always be best friends, and how we will always be who we are.
As we grew up the discussions began to change and talked about 'selective change'. You change what you don't like but remain who you are. A few elements of your personality changes but you can’t change a person completely, your values, your understanding, your morals, your quirks, what you believe in, all that makes you "YOU" will NEVER change.
How naive and innocent we were! "All that makes you "YOU" will NEVER change."
But what did we know. We didn't even know who we were. What were our quirks? What did we truly believe in? We knew nothing about the world that lay outside the protected walls of our childhood.
As time passed we learnt the art of diplomacy, we learnt how to compromise, we learnt to let others take over for love, and we learnt to walk over someone in order to succeed. We resisted, we never truly accepted it but we changed.
Some of us became unrecognisable by those who knew us best.
I am not making judgements or taking sides. I am merely stating a fact; we changed. We changed a lot. Some of us changed completely.
In the years gone by it’s become my understanding that you can never change a 'part' of a personality without affected the whole person. Again it is not a judgement but a fact I state.
It is difficult to accept what you thought would never happen. It is difficult to see those close to you become unrecognisable.
Good or bad, change suddenly becomes a reality that you just don't want to embrace or accept. This is you, these are your friends. We never change. We cannot change.
You feel lost. And suddenly you are judging people. You lash out. You accuse, you fight.
Then you try and hold on to the past tightly. You grip tightly on to your idea of the truth. Its chaos...You won’t let go.
Don't. Don't hold on.
Let it go.
I share this because I have changed. I share this because many who I knew intimately have changed. Changed so much that I have to cock my head on one side, peer at their faces, rack my memory and then, 'Ah!' its hits me. That is my friend. I knew her well once. Yes it is her.
A part of me is annoyed, agitated with the change. I am angry with the unfamiliarity of a once familiar face. How can someone change so much? It's like I never knew her/him.
And just as suddenly there is someone else in my head and she smiles and says, "Oh great! Let’s make a new friend!"
"I knew you once. It was fun.
I would love to know you again.
I think it will be fun."
